Training to next event: Week -12 - double-dip

After 1 week attempt returning to the road, this week leg condition indicate a serious need to put training a halt.

The progression of the week are as followed.
Mon - 8 km
Tues - 14 km moderate intensity. Towards the end of run, difficult while moving from stop to start. Feeling better when body start to get into motion.
Wed - Uncomfortable and slight pain while walking. Prominent during transition from hell to toe, start walking, up and down stair case.
Thurs-Fri - still feeling uncomfortable while walking.
Sat - Sun - spend most of time sitting (both indoor listening to course as well as travel). Knee was still feeling uncomfortable.

With the obvious failure to resume running, I was feeling lost and demotivated.

Everything was not in place. When the main activity of the day (running) is disrupted, everything other thing like lost of anchor. Sleeping time, meal time, managing daily life, or including appointments with other people - everything become nothing to serve as reference. It doesn't matter anymore what time to eat, to sleep, how much to eat. There's no demand but feeling of give up. There's no breaking point of each day. The feeling was just piling up. You were hoping tomorrow it will be better, but it's not. Perhaps it's the withdrawal from the endorphin.

I can do the pool running or swimming. But the thought of "losing on more day" will keep haunting me. Then it'll translate to "how many days to build back". Turn out I'll just take another day off.

Sometimes it's nice just to eat and get fat. Come back with ample time for games and video streaming.

The bad emotion compounded on Wed while thinking and looking at the whole week of schedule involving different locations and tasks, not mentioning the dateline to meet while I return to work.

I guess one of the things as a runners is to learn to accept an injury.
It was like a person to accept bad things in life.
When things doesn't go according to our ways.
When troubles come.
When betrayal, disappointment, separation set in.
If one is unable to accept, it is hard to overcome it.
May be the first step of recovering, is to accept the injury itself.
Moving is but letting go the previous steps.